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Changing the relationship that we have with ourselves is not the end-all-be-all, but it is such an important part of practicing self-trust. So, if the biggest barrier to freedom and presence in our relationships, desires, and sexual expression is shame the biggest sources of healing are self-compassion, self-care, and connection to the self and others. I get so excited about this! Pun absolutely intended. Can you explain how it fits into the healing process? We’ve talked before about how useful a masturbation practice can be. This might look internally like heading back to a time where you were told that desire and sex must look a certain way and asking the present self the questions: “What do I actually think about this now, given my life experience?” and “What did I really need to hear in this moment?” We become our own best caretakers, lovers, and guides, in direct contrast to RTS which often has us believe that the answers we need are dictated by a high, all-powerful judge. This is the process, rooted in Narrative Therapy, of going back to the moments where shame-inducing messages about sexuality and desire were given, overtly or subtly, and rewriting the answers for the present self based in the reality of being human, self-compassion, and even humor. While we are still uncovering and studying the best practices here, what comes up for me is the beautiful work of reparenting. What’s a good starting place for folks still struggling to own their desires or sexual selves because of religious conditioning? Those with RTS often report PTSD symptoms when trying to engage sexually such as sexual anxiety, freeze survival response, and at times panic symptoms, like tearfulness or shaking. This results in the ideology that folks have to be fully healed from their pasts in order to seek out relationships, and more practically, it results in the idea that you must show up physically flawless and groomed to perfection for sex.
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Many with RTS have a harsh practice of perfectionism which makes them feel that if they can’t show up in perfection, they should pretend and perform or not show up at all. While there are so many implications, the biggest one that shows up in romantic relationships and sexuality is shame. So, because our “sense of self” is inextricably tied to our relational and sexual expressions, RTS makes things… well, scary. Instead, those with RTS often experience mistrust of the intuition, self-doubt, shame, guilt, and difficulty making self-supportive decisions. Based on the work of psychologist Erik Erikson, early development would hopefully result in self-trust, autonomy, and a sense of initiative. RTS has many symptoms and presentations, but at its core, it messes with very important stages of the development of the self (for more see /). This thinking often results in the idea that there is one “correct” way of being and that differing options are ignorant and lead to the destruction of the self, others, and the world at large. them, and is motivated by shame and fear. Fundamentalist thinking is characterized as all-or-nothing, us vs. Krista: Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is a subtype of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that is common to those exposed, especially in childhood, to fundamentalist thinking. Jera: What is religious trauma syndrome and how does it often impact people’s romantic relationships and sex lives? While much of Krista’s personal work centers around folks who grew up in a conservative Christian background, people of any conservative religious upbringing can supper from RTS and may find her insights useful. Krista Wilson is currently developing an online community for the treatment of RTS and the effects of Purity Culture called Existence Therapy. “My lived experience makes me incredibly passionate about my work and walking with others through this healing process.” Krista Wilson She was a pastor’s kid whose initial career centered around church ministry in the conservative Evangelical tradition.
#Religious trauma syndrome professional
Krista Wilson, a licensed professional counselor working in Chicago, knows all about it. They also can lead to a subtle form of trauma called Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS). And our backgrounds have influenced our perspectives in ways that we might not even realize. Many of us grew up in religious traditions that held toxic views of sexuality, sex, gender, and romantic relationships.